It's time to write again. My, how things have changed since the last essay I wrote. My head is rapidly clearing and I am now understanding why I was put here in Germany. It was not premature at all. In fact, the timing of my arrival in Heidelberg could not have come at a better time. A year of reflections and asking questions of 'why me' has led me down the track of dealing with what I've always avoided dealing with. The past!
As mentioned before, my beliefs and my self worth have been challenged over the last year to the point where I found myself and my opinions insignificant in this world. It has only been in the last few months where I have allowed myself to take in big breaths that I realise I am just as important as everyone else and the only validation I need is from myself. Today I stand with the strength and knowledge that I am stronger than yesterday. Today I stand with the knowledge that tomorrow will be even better than today. Each day is it's own. Each day presents it's own tasks. And each day is seen as an individual. I no longer see the week as daunting and unaccomplischable, but see the day as it's own and use it to it's fullest.
So...to the juicy stuff, for me anyhow. I applied for my first 'adult' job the other day. I actually took the dreaded step and put myself out there. I smile ear to ear when I finish an illustration or complete something that seemed to pop into my head only moments before completion. I am inspired daily by others work, which in the past would only make me more wound up and jealous and seemingly unproductive. I see daily how nothing is new but mearly interpreted differently by everyone. This gives me courage to pursue my ideas which in the past I would have critise as being like everything else. My interpreation is mine!
What lays ahead? A whole lot more! A move to London to embark on what I've always known I am capable of....That's about it really. Well actually there is a lot more, but perhaps I've exposed myself just about enough. I will keep the others reasons to myself, for now.
NOW....ENOUGH WITH ALL THIS SHIZ I TELL YA AND GIVE ME SOME CREATIVE STUFF!
As mentioned before, my beliefs and my self worth have been challenged over the last year to the point where I found myself and my opinions insignificant in this world. It has only been in the last few months where I have allowed myself to take in big breaths that I realise I am just as important as everyone else and the only validation I need is from myself. Today I stand with the strength and knowledge that I am stronger than yesterday. Today I stand with the knowledge that tomorrow will be even better than today. Each day is it's own. Each day presents it's own tasks. And each day is seen as an individual. I no longer see the week as daunting and unaccomplischable, but see the day as it's own and use it to it's fullest.
So...to the juicy stuff, for me anyhow. I applied for my first 'adult' job the other day. I actually took the dreaded step and put myself out there. I smile ear to ear when I finish an illustration or complete something that seemed to pop into my head only moments before completion. I am inspired daily by others work, which in the past would only make me more wound up and jealous and seemingly unproductive. I see daily how nothing is new but mearly interpreted differently by everyone. This gives me courage to pursue my ideas which in the past I would have critise as being like everything else. My interpreation is mine!
What lays ahead? A whole lot more! A move to London to embark on what I've always known I am capable of....That's about it really. Well actually there is a lot more, but perhaps I've exposed myself just about enough. I will keep the others reasons to myself, for now.
NOW....ENOUGH WITH ALL THIS SHIZ I TELL YA AND GIVE ME SOME CREATIVE STUFF!
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